Forgiveness

Am I that… urgh…

Ok. I ate my word again. I the you last week and now here I am again… liking you.

Why can’t I resist not inviting you out? What is it with your tough attitude that drive me nuts?

*Pancho joined us last night. You who’s just a few blocks away from the meeting place is late. Well, at least you came… and I got a kiss (a peck on the cheeks actually).

Topic is work again. Mostly good news and laying out of cards… you like how Pancho and *Peaches work. You gave your support to them, and free advice. You who’s a known snob in terms of work attitude… I am happy that you are extending your hand and opening your picket fences to your other colleagues.

A few of your selected colleagues ;)

I never had a chance of cornering you. I mean, just you and me to go out. Well, yesterday was a chance but I am such a coward. I texted and invited * Pancho and *Anne. Too bad Anna was so tired, she declined the invitation.

How come I wanted to hate you yet I couldn’t resist you?!

ARGH!

I listen as you and Pancho talk your heart out. You even shared some of our previous conversations with him. I am quiet. I listen… and speak to you in my thoughts…

It’s bad to stare… I know! Sorry if you catch me doing so :(

I’m just happy to know, that despite you being a snob on work, you are busy with work. I mean, finally, you are enjoying your assignment. You are excited about it. It’s your moment to shine? Sounds mushy but well, this might be the break… your break. And I don’t want to meddle nor be a distraction. As if… :p

After we finished the beer tower, and waited for the couple next table to go. I planned ahead that I’d be passing by Starbucks to get my “sticker”… for the planner thing Ü And was hoping you get my cue to stay with me…

And thank the heavens, you kind of get the hint. I had you for myself for almost an hour. Though work is still the topic, I’m still happy being with you. The little me inside just can’t stop jumping around.

And you think I am drunk. Hahaha! I’m just acting, pretending so you’d stay :p

Sigh. What is it with you, ah… Mr. B…

(God! All these times I’m talking to you I never gave you a name!)

… why can’t I get you out of my system?!

Disappointment

I am buried with work and thank God for such a chance.

Yup! I am thanking for the tons of work assigned to me. Are you shocked? Don’t be. I see it as a help… as my remedy…

To get over you.

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I didn’t like what you said over YM. I accepted the invitation of your colleague and joined you guys primarily and honestly, when you confirmed you’re going to be there. I was happy then. I get to go out that night, free drinks and you’re there.

Take note: I was happy.

All, well, most actually are “surprised” when I came ALONE. What is it shocking about me joining you guys or having a night out by myself, without my team?

I took that as a compliment and an insult.

Then again, I am overreacting. I know.

You broke your vow that you’d quit smoking. I asked you nicely in Fiama. You just said you’d quit when you have a kid… huh? And then, you said it’s not you I’m talking to.

I asked nicely… as far as I know. And what did I get?

That you don’t divulge all information…

FUCK.

All along I thought we were good. At least…

I am overreacting but… still… I am disappointed. I am hurt.

May be I should just leave you alone.