Keeping It Steady

It's 3AM.

Went to the gym.

I had my nap hoping to recharge a bit.

And here I am staring at my monitor.

Yesterday was shaky, the other day was worse. It was work... or was I taking the situation and certain people "personally"? As far as I know, some people "close" to you are really unreasonable and I'm sorry (for using the term) plain stupid.

Stupid.

Stupid.

STUPID.

If there was an instance in your life you said, that "emotionally unstable" stage of yours, that time I remember you telling me that even a woman will not be spared from your wrath. Yesterday, I know I am capable to kill.

I wasn't joking when I texted you.

I hated when you seemed playing me around on SMS. It gives me that impression that you are NOT paying attention nor taking me seriously.

I am NOT her. Take note of that.

I miss you for all of what you are doing... and despite of what she is doing... in spite of what's happening.

I miss talking to you... and you know that. I miss you as a friend... my friend.

Someone has to keep me AWAY from her or anyone in relation to her (even you*). I may speak of something or worst, do something I might regret doing for the rest of my life. I have never been in this rage as far as I know. And I don't know to what extend I am capable of doing harm to others.

For all you know I may have the ability to raise hell on earth.

...

... and I am dead serious about it.

(*one of those last persons I don't want to be hurt or know being hurt)