Together... as friends or beyond that?

Despite the fact that I have (or rather SHOULD HAVE) accepted that we are but "friends", I can't deny that I would always prefer to be with you. Well, my friends are for sure irritated that there isn't a day that I wouldn't mention your name. And in our office, it seemed that everyone knows that it's you that I am "fond" of and they make it a joke every time mention Eunice as your girlfriend. It's just a sign that i haven't found another man. God forbides that the next man wont be named like yours!

I am still dreaming of the time that you will be choosing me. Well, that's for a fact that I am a hopeless romantic that's why there as times I still "dream" of romantic situations. But I always wake myself up on the reality side... that (for now, perhaps) we can only be friends.

You said it yourself... it's better to have female friends for now. You have plans. You have personal deadlines. You share them to me somehow. I am thankful for that. Thankful that you consider me as a friend.

I think you knew me well enough. Or even better than I know myself. Perhaps I like you because I see myself in you (or what I wanted myself to be) and of course the ideal man... well, I think you are an ideal man... I think I've mentioned points in my previous letters to you.

I'm just happy whenever I am with you. Recently, we met up and hang out. There's still some "dead" air at times. We both knew that something is running in each heads. I honestly could ask you that question or even tell you how I really feel about you. I know you know. It's just that... it might give me peace if you knew, from me? But there might be a chance that I will be loosing you... these unplanned meetings, these hangouts...

For the 2nd time (and chance) I tried to clear from your end about Eunice. It's much clearer now. But there's still some unexplained situations and actions. I tried to understand it from your perception but I couldn't. I guess, I am that jealous. And I profess my jealousy as a joke to you.

All jokes are half-meant, by the way...

Thank you for always being there for me. For always being the "troubleshooter". Whoever the girl you'll be choosing would be such a lucky one. I just wish you deserve her and she won't be of any high maintenance or would give you trouble. You have enough problems to deal with.

I don't know if I am exaggerating or imagining it. But be it a dream, imagination or simply an aspiration... the hugs, the hand squeeze and those pecks...

If it wouldn't be you, I pray that God would just remove you from my memory. Let there be a new man who deserves me more than you or let me just wake up and the feeling is gone...

...that we are just friends... real friends.