Kick off

It's been awhile since I spilled my guts out here because of you. I guess we are both busy with work. Between my last entry and now, we had exchanged few more text messages, YM-ed each other and met a couple of times for dinner and some booze. But still the idea that you are dropping on me that we are better off as friends wasn't absorb by my system come until our last dinner.

I think you got angry on me or something. For insisting perhaps that you and Eunice had some "moments" based from the stories she's divulging to everyone. I don't believe her from the perception of how I knew you. But I was bothered. I don't know of that perception of you is just what I want you to be and I just made it up. Plus the idea that since you guys are being teased, i tried to go away... well, most of the time.

I am sorry if I've maddened you. I felt it when you said you had to go. But I appreciated it when you joined me when you said you had somewhere to go to later that night. Perhaps with your reaction there was my wake up call. Since then, I really, REALLY lessen my kakulitan to you. Lesser text messages, lesser YM. Work and personal projects made me busy too. Those helped me by keeping my hands and mind occupied. Made me think less of you.

Perhaps through I should let you know that I kind of made closure to Eunice. Well, in some way. I had to be nice to her because of work but doing that it was somehow gave me some peace. There might be times that I still find her a fake and an opportunist (but most of the time still a duh). But I am nice to her in a very limited manner. She might have moved on to her advantage by having the guy for her. I just wish it would be the same for us too.

It feels like longer than just weeks since we last spoke to each other. Yesterday, I wasn't able to resist greeting you and giving you a beso when we were in your office. Specially that I found out that we are flying together for Thailand on Sunday.

God perhaps is testing me. Through our common friends that are teasing me and the flight we are to take. I made a bet, that if you for God's will and with no human intervention took or at least was given the seat beside me, I will treat the group when I get back. For as far as I know you, you will ask to be seated next to Myles for some discussion and brainstorming.

I am having mixed emotions now. For the trip, what's install for us, both personal and the business purpose of that trip... and what's waiting for me there in Thailand for the few hours that I am to stay there.

God might have been intervening lately. Aside from the workloads HE has given me, I met a new guy that seemed to be a good prospect. Though there wasn't any follow through and found some complications, at least I have other diversions as well.

Am I indeed moving on? I hope so. I hope this month will be the start of me getting on my footing and moving to the direction that favors me, that path where there is some happiness install for me.

And So It Happens...