"Crying" It

My last week at work and I am still “lost” of what has happened a few days ago…

I still have to work but I am sooooo useless…

Christmas is sooo near, yet I feel… blank.

It’s a week of meeting up with friends, get-togethers, Christmas parties… dinners, etc… etc…

I have been to videoke or karaoke with different sets of friends. From client-friends to ex-officemates turned to friends… but all the same, I DON’T sing. I munch in the food, drink the beers I can induce and smoke till my lungs give up.

But last night was different.

I am with my Batibot ladies… had dinner and of course, karaoke should never be off our list. I have been out of touch from these two ladies but when we see each other, it still the same. We giggle. We laugh. We talk. But it’s not just me who noticed that I AM different. Different in a that I actually SING.

Yes! I sang till my larynx or whatever part of that throat is about to break. I sang like I was the only one in that room. I felt no shame. I am not shy. I just feel like singing. I proudly grabbed the songbook and search for familiar songs… then punched the numbers.

I practically sang…

I SANG….

Not 1 song, not 2 or 3… not just 10 I suppose…

I felt satisfied singing last night. I feel happy. And my friends felt it too. They were happy. They said that I finally “let go”… I was confused with their term. But they said, I am finally enjoying it… TOTALLY enjoying karaoke. That sounded good too… felt somehow alive. It’s like, something or someone just came out of me!

I just sang my heart out… and it felt good. F*ckingly good.